This year has been exhausting, yes, but it’s been the last ten years – ten years of caretaking, of life-as-performance, of striving for something that was never going to come – that’s felt like a gauntlet. With all of that over now, I can feel the stress and anger vanishing, bit by bit. Learning what to do with the extra mental energy. For now, relaxing and taking my time in my time - and not feeling guilty about it.