this is what happens when i am unable to string two words together and

in

this is me typing up anything that resembles words one after the other after the other and no still theres nothing but someone is barking at something somewhere and k is reading louise erdrich on the couch and eating popcorn while i stare at this screen with a matte me shadowreflection staring back or maybe its just the glare from my cheap monitor light which i still love and did you know that that butterfly bench came apart far more easily than i anticipated thanks bolt cutters and the spray paint is still sticking to the butterfly on the wall of the house and the squirrels are leaving it alone for now but theres the timer times up so theres that then

“we’ve already been there and nobody paid any attention”

in
"It’s harder to imagine the past that went away than it is to imagine the future. What we were prior to our latest batch of technology is, in a way, unknowable. It would be harder to accurately imagine what New York City was like the day before the advent of broadcast television than to imagine what it will be like after life-size broadcast holography comes online. But actually the New York without the television is more mysterious, because we’ve already been there and nobody paid any attention. That world is gone."

backyard: progress/20220606

in

  • Fence has been straightened and reinforced. Got to play with a chainsaw, the hallmark of any fun project. Will hopefully bring neighbor's passive-aggressive "are you thinking about repairing your fence" to a conclusion / FWIW my response: "are you thinking about telling your screaming children to shut the fuck up?"

  • Next task: fasten new posts to old fence.

  • ThistleWar has ended on one side of the yard. Needed to win to reach the fence to facilitate above completion. Did not find K's missing garden fork. Did find several of Kirby's absconded pots and ball remnants and a table and chairs.

  • Have to fix weedeater. (Update/202206061415: I have fixed the weedeater.)

  • New shed door in process of being produced. The critters that call the space under the floor home will not be pleased that they have to find a new entrance.

  • The lock on the gate remains rusted shut. Bolt cutters and/or dynamite might be needed to get the mower out to mow the front yard.

  • Butterfly bench disassembled and repainted and hung above window baskets to finally fill in that huge center spot on the house. Spray paint outlines remain in the yard.

  • Pond project: install UV algae fighter thing. Chainsaw again?

farewell s key

in

you were a solid key a good key starting many a sentence and finishing many a word the middle too but now youre going going gone at least on one keyboard which brings me to the question of did i use you too much whatwith too many plurals maybe or possibly too many starting and stoppings and stirrups in symmetrical efforts at synchronicity lost to fallings and failings and lackings of imagination(s) but then again these are the days as natalie and the maniacs remind us the days now of the s-key clickclacks sounding still though seen now not upon your empty plastic placeholder but only in your manifestations resultant on-screen and off

THE BODY ARTIST, revisited

in

First (re)reading of the month complete, DeLillo's THE BODY ARTIST, and wanted to record first, immediate, visceral thoughts in the 18 minutes left in my reading time: an unsettling snapshot of grief and shock – the grief of shock, the shock of grief – and the unmooring that ensues, the loss of identity, of self, the pressure of finding a new one, of grasping for one...

Is reality too powerful for you? 

Take the risk. Believe what you see and hear. It's the pulse of every secret intimation you've ever felt around the edges of your life.

… that ranks still – as it has since my first reading in 2014 (has it really been eight years? reality reality) – among my favorite books, probably my favorite of his; followed quickly by UNDERWORLD and LIBRA (the other two contenders for the favorite DeLillo title), my first recommendation to anyone seeking to dive into DeLillo's work.

Next up on the (re)read list: Carson McCullers’s THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER; my complete reading list, from 2013 to the present, lives here.

coming in july: PRESS (A) TO START

in

I'm launching my own semiannual (though *possibly* quarterly – have to see how the first issue goes over the next month) zine, PRESS (A) TO START, which will be the home of all my fully-fleshed writings – essays, Modulae, etc – moving forward.

The why of it all: thanks to recent TSR interviews with both Justin Duke, the creator of Buttondown and MJ Slide, the brain behind their own zine, PRISMATIC SLANT, I realized that I've been making a mistake with my newsletter in that I was asking too much of the form in overwrought attempts to have it function both as my primary communications medium *and* my primary expressive medium. My working theory (which I'm considering truth whether it is or not) is that by splitting comms and expressions into two different entities, I will be able to craft a more rewarding communicative reading experience in the newsletter and, likewise, a more rewarding creative and expressive experience for me in PRESS (A).

(For instance: had I not found my way to PRESS (A), I never would have been able to publish the 7,000 word essay I’ve been cooking up as I deal with the fallout and complexities of my mother’s death at the end of April.)

Newsletter subscribers will receive not only free access to a digital edition of each release but substantial discounts on physical editions; you can sign up here if so inclined.

Looking forward to sharing it with all of you. First issue should arrive sometime next month.

in

“Style is a very simple matter; it is all rhythm. Once you get that, you can’t use the wrong words. But on the other hand here I am sitting after half the morning, crammed with ideas, and visions, and so on, and can’t dislodge them, for lack of the right rhythm. Now this is very profound, what rhythm is, and goes far deeper than words. A sight, an emotion, creates this wave in the mind, long before it makes words to fit it.”

– Virginia Woolf

(re)reading/202206

in

Given that I've never set time aside to actually re-read things, I've declared June and December to be my re-read months (also useful way to catch up on Paris Review and Laphams stuff) moving forward. Currently on the probably overly-ambitious list for June (but will make the move to December should I not get them all done):

  • Calvino's INVISIBLE CITIES

  • DeLillo's THE BODY ARTIST (complete, 2020603)

  • McCullers's THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER

  • Pynchon's V

  • Krasznahorkai's SATANTANGO

  • Garcia-Marquez's CHRONICLE OF A DEATH FORETOLD

  • Spark's MEMENTO MORI

  • Morselli's DISSIPATIO, H.G

  • Sorokin's THE BLIZZARD

  • McCarthy's CHILD OF GOD

  • Murakami's AFTER DARK

May the (re)reading commence; my complete reading list, from 2013 to the present, lives here.