no more deadlines until it’s time to have a deadline and even then

I suppose that it's a good sign that getting to work on The Main Thing this morning felt like being able to breathe again, a creative tracheotomy freeing me from the suffocation of the last several weeks and/or months and finally letting me ride the wave as it were of whatever waters I'm navigating and while I'm uncertain of what, exactly, changed (or maybe it's nothing more than the happy pill dose readjustment finally started to work), I'll – no, wait, I'm actually fairly certain of what changed: two weeks ago I made the announcement to subscribers that I didn't know when or if the second issue of PRESS(A) would come out and followed that up yesterday morning in a note to myself written in pencil on a "note to god" while not spontaneously combusting during my annual (grand)father's day endurance test of fire and brimstone horseshit (seriously, these people have gotten even nuttier than last year – it was more than moderately terrifying, whatwith the addition of "more jesus in america" callouts from the usually taciturn and silent crowd of 20) that I wouldn't make any further announcement about PRESS(A) until I had at least two more main features, for 03 and 04, in a state of forward motion as I've found, on a visceral level, that adding a window of release / self-inflicted deadline is, at this point, the most sure-fire way to fall off the wave, get hit in the head with the board, and become narrative fish food. Guess that's that then – end of story, as that one guy said in FARGO.