**** / *****

playacting(?)

Effort of late being to discern the point at which my work times veer from essential aspect of myself (as my psychology prof wouldve said: breathing, sleeping, eating, shitting) to playacting: while the pre-breakfast part, from about 0445 until 0745 feels like the former, the post–, more often than not, feels like the latter. Question, then: do I stick only with the times when it's an essential aspect of myself, or do I strive to make the playacting feel as essential? Or do I roll with the playacting? Pondering, with no answer in sight, but hey if nothing else that Panama Canal scene in 3 BODY PROBLEM was all kinds of oh my fuck amazing.