filmic ennui

Trying to find my way back to a passion for film – not for the medium itself (I still adore it) but for the enjoyment of sitting by myself, deciding what to watch, then watching it. Thinking the root of the problem is two-fold: one, perhaps I've been looking at films from a "–maker's" perspective that I've lost the ability to just enjoy them for their own sake (not dissimilar to music when I left music school); and two, all of my people who I'd talk to about them are dead or gone. Books I don't have a problem with; comics, same. But I'm struggling to find my way back to that cinematic passion, the one who would salivate at the latest Criterion release or some other way to spend money on being in the presence of the promise of a cinematic experience. Thought I’d found my way back with a rewatch of THE MENU but, alas; maybe the answer is the same as it is for everything: accept it for what it is and know that it'll change eventually. Doesn't make it any easier.

currently_20250519

  • READING :: BLINDNESS, by José Saramago

  • LISTENING :: I'm woefully out of the loop; need to dig for new stuff – though I've been listening to a lot of Sonic Youth and The Pixies.

  • WATCHING :: DUSTER, s1 (Max)... SEVERANCE, s2... a low dose of narrative series as it's the end of the school year and our brains can rarely handle more than a true crime doc which we've watched all the good ones.

  • PLAYING :: Wrapped up a replay of SUPERHOT last night and I'm riding 'round a post-apocalyptic Oregon killing zombies and marauders in DAYS GONE REMASTERED which is quite good save for a bug that's prevented me from clearing up one of the infestations LOOK I CAN ONLY BURN IT WHEN IT'S THERE EVEN THOUGH YOU SAY IT'S THERE BUT IT'S NOT BECAUSE I ALREADY FUCKING BURNED IT.

metal_0029 :: scrappy

Introducing Scrappy, a robot who watched nothing but Charlie Chaplin films and scrounged up the pieces to build himself the accoutrements - and mannerisms - of his hero. It’s my first major experiment into mechanical engineering with these figures (thank you, kid’s STEM mechanical engineering picture book); rather proud of this little guy.

a scrap metal robot dressed like charlie chaplin against orange.