newsletter sunday 0092

43°F, rain: Turkey surgery performed yesterday turned out fine, entrails duly removed, Mr Bean watch/turkey episode avoided, narrowly. Suppose it was comforting that I was handed a knife as soon as I entered my in-laws' home. Holidaze, such and such... also comforting: brief reunion with my mother's cat, Pumpkin, who remembered me and proceeded to purr and do all sorts of cat-affection things. We also engaged in our regular boxing match; he won. I wish he wasn't the only aspect of my mother that I miss but such is life... MacroParentheticals0092 arrives in t-minus two hours, give or take. NASA I am not.

void recognition, somewhat

Recognizing that the void mentioned yesterday is coming, at least partially, from the reality that – after two+ decades of dreading the holidays – I no longer have to dread them. Can't help but laugh when the texts from the funeral home arrive about grief in the holidays: I don't have grief in their lit candle prayers sense but in the sense of an umooring brought by a freedom from dread and a total lack of a notion of how to navigate the holidays and life in general without said dread. Happy dead turkey day to those who celebrate.