"Negativity was employed in a quest to become free of unnatural restraint..."

Intriguing look at ancient Cynicism, as opposed to today’s knockoff (via Psyche):

The ancient Cynic outlook was negative, but the Cynic did not become trapped by their negativity, or use a negative outlook on life as an excuse for doing nothing, for giving up on life, or for giving in. Cynic negativity was not associated with the idea that if everything is bad, nothing can be done, so let’s do nothing. Rather, Cynic negativity spurred the Cynic into action. Negativity was employed in a quest to become free of unnatural restraint, and to conjure a less servile state of mind. Negativity released the Cynic from social obligations, and social ties, and allowed the Cynic to think differently about the world around them.

Ansgar Allen https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-live-like-a-cynic-and-challenge-social-norms

sat/20221203

Finished Pelecanos's THE TURNAROUND last night: so very, very good. For some reason, in spite of my passion for crime fiction and THE WIRE, and having had Pelecanos on my radar for years and years, this was only the second of his books I've read (the other being the second Spero Lucas novel, THE DOUBLE); it will not be the last – nor will it take me as long to turn the pages.

Loved this, from the backmatter:

"Conflict drives good fiction, and crime fiction presents the highest form of conflict: life-and-death. Also, the form best allows me to explore the social issues that get me jacked up. I might take a different path now and again, but I'm not goingto walk out of the arena."

George Pelecanos https://www.worldcat.org/title/324993401

As a result, perhaps – of both the emotional pull and tug of THE TURNAROUND and of Pelecanos's remarks above, I'm redoubling my efforts to break through the brick wall of the MainFictionThing, which is most definitely in the crime fiction mold – though via my own "chamber writing" (Principle 07) interpretation of said mold.

shiny new self-hosted mastodon

The waitlist email from Masto.host arrived this morning and I’m now set with my own Mastodon instance, @tww@social.parentheticalrecluse.com. Super smooth process to set up…

Now to figure out how these spaces interact. Probably same as usual, but I’m in the mood to try something new, as I have been. Anyhow, it’ll come to me – after many fits and spurts.

fri/20221202

Fantastic chat with Liam: came away with a feeling of how photographs could be an extension of someone as essential to their being as their brain or heart. Letting the recording itself sit until first of next week then will turn into the episode: need a couple of days after a deep dive into the work of others to refocus on my writing (even though the current isn't speaking to me this morning – hence why I keep two WIPs going at once, two different tabs, the hopes that maybe one can unlock the other – or lead to utter fuckall). Full interview should be live sometime, Weds-> Fri.

Might be time to partake in a little side project, something totally different from the main WIPs. Hard and fast deadline – a week or a month or so. Asking self, What would be to me as photography is to Liam – maybe that's what sketchy me below is trying to figure out?

CGM switch day today, from the Libre to the Dexcom. First phase of my cyborg pancreas changeover. Bit of trepidation (at least part of aforementioned utter fuckall?), but the covering bandages arrived yesterday so if nothing else I don't have to worry about a boisterous German Shepherd tearing it off my arm; little victories.

thu/20221201

25ºF, clouds: Spent the morning, thus far, collating notes and prepping questions for this evening's TSR interview with TO:KY:OO and AFTER DARK author/photographer Liam Wong and remembering that the second part of the collation process is paring my questions down so they can be asked conversationally: I do a lot of prep to make things sound spur of the moment; when my questions seem long winded, I consider it a failure... Basic interview process: collect, collate, conversate (for lack of a better term), then probably throw it all out in the interview itself – but the cheat sheet's there, a useful roadmap through to socialization.

good mail day

/20221130

52ºF, rain: Approaching cyborg installation (set for Thursday, 08 December, at 1400) and training now with far less apprehension / trepidation: plusses are outweighing the minuses and the minuses don't seem so intimidating. Sense of failure dissipating / damned if you do damned if you don't omnipresent but such is the T1D way.

Irony of ironies: my blood sugar is now fully back under control, as per its standard modus operandi, one which seems to operate in opposition to vehicles at the mechanics: Mechanic: "cant find anything wrong with it" / "But there's a burning smell and smoke coming from the engine" / "Didn't see anything" :: Endo: "it's time to start from scratch" / "I was fine last week and have been for a couple of weeks" / "ohmygod it's time to move to a pump and start from scratch and... "

This is the day, the life.

Workwise, realized what was wrong with the main WIP – probably – and adjusted accordingly. Not sure it will solve all the problems but it was one small one semi-resolved. Little victories in this, my daily offering to our lady of thankless callings.

“monster, draw near”

Another Tuesday (seems to be the stuck day) of stuckness in one of the WIPs, another Tuesday with an exercise from Lynda Barry's MAKING COMICS, "Monster Draw Near," which asked that I "1.) Pick a monster (from the Monster Jam page) and copy it into the first frame (of four quadrants)... 2.) Draw its parents in frame two... 3.) ...draw it as a toddler with an older sibling ... 4. ... as an elderly monster dancing with its true love…”

Can kind of make out an elderly couple dancing in the fourth frame but they kind of look like potatoes with a hat so IDK. Particularly fond of screaming toddler monster in the third. Enjoyed this one – loved that I got to use an earlier character.