first day

First day of school for K – and for the local elementary kids moving to the "all-in-one" school outside of town – and the first of my slowdown mornings for me, timeshifted rituals and routines abound: reading first (John Rechy's CITY OF NIGHT, at present) with dogchildren and matcha instead of coffee – because reading tastes like matcha and working tastes like coffee (and the matcha buzz wears off after four hours, give or take, the verdict remaining out on whether I have my usual two cups of coffee while working or if I can drop down to one); then to yoga, breakfast, and the day's run. Then, The Work: Attendance Cards will, as always, be the start of the workday – only timeshifted a few hours because now I'm letting myself slow down and not cram the pieces of the day that refuel my self-respect into a few hours before the sun rises and spend the rest of the day draining that fuel with utmost consistency. Notions, even, of working – or, rather, tinkering – in the afternoon – though that will be more likely once NuSanctum is up and running. Might even get some more sleep / wouldn't it be nice.

So far, it's been a lovely experiment in temporal displacement – though it's apparent that I'll have to work out new running routes for the schooldaze as local schoolchildren gather at the old elementary school near me to be bussed out to the all-in-one and the sidewalks are now, between 0830 and 0900, overrun with frazzled parents and feral children (run away, run away / keep running) but, on the bright side, after that, it's gloriously, wondrously quiet around here.

Made the first attempt at my last-ditch effort to safely – with NuHerbie the Insulin Pump in tow – add mileage (back) to my run: drive up to the running trail (half mile away or so), park, and slowly add loops and mileage (as opposed to adding mileage by running the roads around my slice of wanton heartlandia as I have the past decade). At least this way I don't have to take "blood sugar ok enough to get home" into account: even if I do go low, I keep glucose shots in the truck - at it's furthest away from me, it's a few tenths of a mile away – and sit it out in the truck until it pops back up. Plus, it's nice to not have to think about school traffic or to interact with anyone. If I can add one more loop, I can get back to my previous daily mileage (six miles), though I'd be ecstatic with a consistent daily five.

TIL: barefoot / minimalist running shoes are fantastic on ice. Increased ability to grip naturally?

focus

Figured out a likely root cause of my focus problem post-run the last week or so: while listening to the audiobook will be financially beneficial (Graham's THE INTELLIGENT INVESTOR – I sort of get this stuff now; and hey, if Warren Buffett considers it the best book on investing, who am I to argue), it was not creatively so: the morning run is my walking (running) meditation and, for better or for worse, I need that time to be alone with my brain, my breath, and the sounds of the AC. Filling my brain with the words and notions of others, no matter how beneficial (and surprisingly refreshing, in its way) is not at all worth the frazzled, unfocused husk that returns. Duly noted.

Eyelash-freezer of a run this morning (morning run for the weekends: makes things a little easier married-schedule-wise (and gives my upper half a couple of days off; might do the same mid-week, will see) but makes things a little harder "oh shit it's cold"-wise) in untrammeled cemetery snow powder: pleasant to look at and conceptually pleasant, but reality is, as ever, possessed of other ideas. Four miles.

Similarly struggling with even the newsletter this morning: words aren't coming and I'm beginning to think that my attempts at a third workblock have, no matter how much I've enjoyed adding it in the afternoon – and being able to add it in the afternoon – left me with only fumes to work with the next day. Won't deny that the breakthrough the other afternoon was nice – haven't felt it, the creative equivalent of an orgasm, in longer than I care to admit – but it's useless unless I'm able to think clearly enough to expand and build on it the next day. Better, I think, to find something else to fill those postprandial/post-run hours and let the pieces and fragments stew in the afternoon miasma of IDK.

Also struggling with newsletter formatting and rendering: seriously, WTF Buttondown? Something's amiss…

Not sure why it took me this long into the insulin pump / NuHerbie era to switch my running time from morning to afternoon, but I'm glad I did. Traffic as light – if not lighter (no school-busses, yay) – and no one around. Still have to work out the kinks with the insulin dosage / ratios but that's nothing different from what I've been doing for the last year in the morning anyhow. Will definitely continue – and eventually let Derbz come along.

Giving another workchunk a go, first afternoon I've had free in longer than I can remember. First cup of matcha in same. Missed both.

(Also missed using this space for more frequent life updates and random thoughtlets about anything and everything. Good to be emerging into something resembling a rhythm.)

In better humor this afternoon, much to the relief of the dogchildren and the unsuspecting populace. This semblance of making a day of my own, no matter how illusory, is wonderful.