CYBERPUNK 2077 (CD Projekt Red, 2020)

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Two months, a few tears, an unwavering belief in the awesomeness of Keanu Reeves (Silverhand is nothing if not the ur-rockstar), and a deeper immersion in its augmented RipperDoc world via playing it on more than a few occasions whilst plugged into a power cable myself to charge the H.E.R.B.I.E. the insulin pump, I've reached the end of my first playthrough (female Nomad V, Judy romance) in what felt, to me, to be the most narratively complete and satisfying ending for that character.

Before I get to my overarching gripe, I want to lay out that I

  • a.) Enjoyed the game quite a bit – enough to spend two months immersed in its world without a single thought of throwing in the towel.

  • b.) Found the story to be more or less engaging and populated with intriguing characters. Damn it, Jackie.

  • c.) Didn't encounter any bugs other than the occasional person walking through a car, the customization screen not taking my customizations, or crash which was always fixable by restarting without "quick resume."

  • d.) While the combat system is more than a little dodgy, I only got annoyed at the controls after I had the blade arms: that I couldn't cycle back through weapons but only forwards was a pain in the ass and led to my flatlining more than once.

  • e.) OK, other time I got pissed at the controls: I crashed more times than I care to count while driving a car but was ok on the motorcycle (I mostly drove Jackie's motorcycle) even though I was floored by its occasional superpower of running into cars and send the car flying (see item c?)

OK, the big gripe – and this could be applied across multiple current gaming trends which, I suspect has more to do with the need for everything to be an online multiplayer experience at some point in its existence than the narrative needs of a lowly single player (though CYBERPUNK will, thankfully, remain a single-player one): while Night City and its surrounding environs are beautiful – at times, jaw-droppingly so – I do long for a more contained gaming experience to bowl me over with more deeply drawn levels (though I do understand that the appeal of the CYBERPUNK IP from its tabletop gaming roots *is* that expansive world and putting yourself in it): ARKHAM ASYLUM remains my favorite of the ARKHAM games because it was so claustrophobic while CONTROL is, as far as I can recall, of a similar milieux. I can only imagine what CYBERPUNK would have been had it been similarly contained, if they used all of the imagination let loose in massive worldbuilding and applied it to a deeper level design; if they took a more DEUS EX-style cyberpunk gaming vision and built from that as opposed to a WITCHER/GTA-style sprawl: I fail to see what it is about character/narrative choice and infinite customization that requires an overwhelmingly massive and, at times, onerous and superficial open world playground itself lacking in character: for me, there's a bigger appeal - maddening though it may be – of WANTING to know what's outside the narrative walls of a world and being held back than being given free reign to drive down endless highways winding through neon-teeming cityscapes.

Like I said, though – above bitchiness aside – I did enjoy the game, far more than I thought I would and do recommend that you play it. Will give it some time (and watch the apparently-excellent EDGERUNNERS anime on Netflix) and return to Night City as a male V and see where that takes me; perhaps another dive will change my opinion (I will write another Postscript on it and link back to this one). Parting note of minor personal fascination: I find myself more often than not using the phrase "go back inside" when discussing that impending replay with myself.

Górecki: SYMPHONY NO. 3 – Dawn Upshaw / London Sinfonietta / David Zinman

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First heard it around the end of my time in music school – a conducting class, IIRC – and it floors me now as it did 20+years ago. That I hadn’t included it among the EarBlisses is a mistake I’m now rectifying as I am presently blissed out on it anew. One of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written.

A silhouette of a veiled woman praying

goals

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For the next few months or few years however long it takes:

  • More concrete usage of notebook / journal as corporeal thinking brain with improved legibility or at least enough to get the notes into Obsidian at a few hours' remove for digital workspace / zettelkasten purposes.

  • Press(A) 02.

  • An acceptance that the morning is when my stores of willpower are at their peak and when I'm at my most creatively fertile and that efforts to expand that throughout the day are, at best, a way to avoid other realities of life that would be best served by being present for them.

  • Further incorporate randomness-by-choice into my day.

  • Decide on how to integrate social.parentheticalrecluse.com into this space and implement it. Would love to use it as comment system. Though I have no clue how to go about doing that. Anyone want to help?

  • A full embrace that being a writer is only part of my identity not all of it and that all of those other parts fuel and infuse one another though am I always thinking and seeing like a writer.

  • This this is the only this that there is right now.

More if and when I figure it / them out.