tactile

Conversation with a good friend the other week made me realize what's going on with my move towards metalwork: I'm redisovering my love for and need of tactile creation. Suppose this love makes sense, given that my entrance into the arts was playing drums (hit stuff and that makes cool sounds) and that my downfall(s) began when I shifted more into the internal, less tactile arts (music composition, especially, though writing can't be absolved of its complicity in my descent into creative schizophrenia). Filmmaking was far more tactile than writing – though since I've also started drawing and cartooning, I'm bringing more tactile sensation to my storytelling (should it survive). And I can't forget that I've long considered accepting the Executive Director position at the NPO to be the biggest mistake of my career: I missed getting my hands dirty too much. Alas, live and learn. Eventually.

Original intention yesterday was to disassemble and stow my electronic drumset away in the eaves above, but I couldn't do it once I got it out to The Shed. As of this morning, I still couldn't bring myself to do it. Not sure if it means that I'm too lazy to take it apart or if the drums and I still, after more than a quarter century and multiple instrumental permutations, have unfinished business.

processing

Thinking today of how my means of processing life, my processings of processings, have changed over time. Writing - journaling in notebooks and reMarkables or blogging here - used to be the main way, but now I seem to have moved more over into fiction and cartooning. Attendance Cards as graphic blogging, having replaced the old daily maunderings that gave birth to this space for the last two years now.

In an effort to figure out where I am now – who I am now, creatively and, perhaps, more deeply – I've spent the last few years revisiting all of the art forms of my past: while it wasn't unpleasant to work thorugh Stone's STICK CONTROL, a return to music yielded little more than a reminder of why I left music in the first place (it served its purpose, to get me out of Ohio when I needed it most) and so here I am, even further back, playing with drawing and the memories of stick figures with my grandmothers at their respective dining room tables. Maybe this is where I was always meant to be, having given it up in my late teens, or maybe it's nothing in particular but what it is. Doesn't matter. I'm enjoying myself either way.

french grip

Re-starting my drumming re-education / music therapy from scratch with a new grip. Tried traditional: my left wrist hated it and it defeated the purpose of trying to make my arms of similar strength (though I'm left-handed, my left hand is far weaker than my right: ATV accident fucked that shoulder years back and I've never fully recovered). Matched: both wrists hated it a little less than my left wrist hated traditional, but it still felt too rigid – and was the only grip I was taught during my first, otherly-directed percussive education. Which also killed my passion for drumming, so probably wasn't the best idea to try it again. Live/learn etc.

Now, though: trying out French Grip, which is basically the same as a timpani-playing grip – matched grip but with the palms facing one another and playing shifted from the wrists to the fingers – and I think I like it. If I'm not mistaken, it's what Carter Beauford uses, isn't it? Will never reach that level, but I'm intrigued by the action of the sticks vs. matched (or as I like to call it, missionary grip). So far, a bit dodgy, but I've re-started Stone's STICK CONTROL (again) to, well, control the sticks – shouldn't you be writing, he asks himself / this is part of my writing, he says.

Finding my way back to a drumming practice, letting myself have fun again (even though I'm working through the brain/hand coordination warhorses of Chester's THE NEW BREED and Stone's STICK CONTROL – if I'm going to do relearn this beloved instrument, I'm doing it with the best foundational texts out there). Wish the iPad'd been around when I was gigging and in music school: would’ve saved me more than a few embarrassing page-turn crashes.

THAT THING YOU DO! (Hanks, 1996)

(Written and directed by Tom Hanks; starring Tom Everett Scott, Johnathon Schaech, Steve Zahn, Liv Tyler, Ethan Embry, Charlize Theron, and Tom Hanks. Released 04 October 1996; (re)watched 2023w13 via Hulu)

A diversionary revisit (first time since VHS, I think) from my usual Criterion brain/soul-sustenance and/or action-packed / true crime death show braincarbs, Hanks's first writing/directing foray remains one of the textbook examples of "delightful": it was this film and its earworm soundtrack that taught me how to drum; that cemented my now decades-long crush on Liv Tyler; that made me always enjoy a Steve Zahn appearance (even in the first season of WHITE LOTUS, which I loathed – with the exception of Renoir's RULES OF THE GAME, little turns me off more than stories about bored rich white people on vacation, no matter how incisive its social commentary might be – and never finished); that made me scratch my head but nod when Schaech showed up as Jonah Hex in LEGENDS OF TOMORROW – and wait for his Hex to burst into a refrain of "I quit"; and it was this film that made me pick up the drumsticks again after I picked them up again the last time I picked them up (or something). A boldly earnest film – that first time the Oneders (I wonder what happened to the o-need-ers) hear "That Thing You Do!" on the radio is one of the best expressions of unbridled excitement and happiness ever put to film – in an era of endless cynicism. Always, always recommended.

implements/20221117

Thought I might make this a regular feature here, my own version of “Uses This” / “Cool Tools.”

on screen :: primary writing app / second brain is a combination of Obsidian (for generating, storing, and linking) and Muse (for drawing scribbles all over texts and arranging it all across a 34-inch widescreen monitor).

in hand :: Lamy Studio LX black with fine point nib (same nib I've used on all of my Lamy pens: I always take the one that came with the pen off and replace it with that first nib, been there since my first Safari) flowing with black Pilot Iroshizuki Take-Sumi ink upon Baron Fig Confidant notebooks held in a Cold Creek Leather A5 journal cover..

on person :: Rite in the Rain's (appropriately titled) On-the-Go mini notebooks for being on-the-go in Rite-In-The-Rain Wallet (which is pretty useless as a wallet but is an excellent running/daily-wear-n-tear holder) with mini-pen; first thing that goes in my pocket in the morning and stays with me all day long…. Gerber Lockdown-Pry Mutlitool: I never realized how much I would use a small exacto knife until I used it all the time. The rest of the components are great too. I was using a Leatherman Skeletool but I need scissors far more often than I need pliers on a daily basis…. Any one of two “tough solar” Casio G-Shock watches in the current rotation: a GAB2100-1A or a GAB2100C-9A. Simple, no-frills. Love them both.

in orbit :: CW&T's Superlocal: my relationship my daily ritual has been forever altered. A work of functional art… House of Marley Stir It Up turntable: oh, how I love this thing – and how I love the ritual of vinyl. Will probably upgrade speakers though – I prefer more bass than the HOM speakers allow…. Donner Practice Pad + Vic Firth American Classic 2B sticks (wood tip) + George Lawrence Stone's STICK CONTROL: a perfect combo for drumming while thinking. STICK CONTROL is a warhorse, published in 1935, still the go-to-text. Repeat each exercise 20 times. A meditative way revisit a previous iteration when stuck in the current – and keep my increasingly arthritic hands moving.

appropriating meditative stickings

Asking myself: what does "slowing down" look like for me? Does it mean stepping away from daily things here (or towards them and away from multiple posts)? Fewer projects? Fewer TSR episodes? Less giveafuck? Definitely the last one – but unsure about the rest of them: every time I say I'm going to stop doing the daily things I end up having something to write about but I’m leaning that way more than I have in awhile. TSR, I need for the balance with my own solo efforts. Fewer projects? I’ve only got three main ones going, not terrible; eh, think I'll stick with less giveafuck and let the chips fall where they may.

Finding that practicing Stone's STICK CONTROL on the practice pad helps get me out of an invasive thoughtloop. Rhythm + counting + focus = a stick-bearing meditation: fascinating / horrifying that the voices of interruption that pop up are all things (Step-He) used to say to me when I practiced / disturbed his sacred existence and that I somehow managed to appropriate into my own internal voice. Explains a lot. Fucker.

Keep playing, keep counting, keep breathing, keep going. And on and on and on.