reanimation

in

This whole slowing down – this whole letting myself slow down – thing is wonderful, yesterday being the first (non-hospitalized – and even that's been almost eight) morning in more than 10 years that I said to hell with it and took the day off. Might become a regular Sunday thing, especially since the NL is now monthly (releasing next Sunday) and I'm hoping NuSanctum yields more work / make during the week.

Perhaps I can owe figuring out how to move forward with the post-ink therapy reanimation of a project I long thought dead (method being the same as my usual method of reanimation: start a new document, put it next to the old one in an infinite project canvas, copy and paste and rewrite in(to) the new from the perspective of now, junk everything else) to this slow down and day off? If so, more please.

Moving things out piecemeal to NuSanctum, though most of today will be spent prepping the cardboard and rubble from yesterday's mini-heatdome desk assembly session for the recycle bin.

in

Efforts at slowing down or, rather, at eliminating that feeling of rush from my day, front and center: little things like not acceding to young Kirby’s demands to play Derbzball as soon as I return from the run; like letting myself take 30 minutes after each exercise chunk (one after each meal) to read before going on to the next 90-minute thing. Appropriate, I suppose, that Newport's latest, SLOW PRODUCTIVITY was delivered to the Kindle this morning: not sure that I need help with writing slowly, I'm managing that just fine on my own, TYVM – but I would like a little less rush to nowhere in that as well. Old habits, I suppose.

appropriating meditative stickings

in

Asking myself: what does "slowing down" look like for me? Does it mean stepping away from daily things here (or towards them and away from multiple posts)? Fewer projects? Fewer TSR episodes? Less giveafuck? Definitely the last one – but unsure about the rest of them: every time I say I'm going to stop doing the daily things I end up having something to write about but I’m leaning that way more than I have in awhile. TSR, I need for the balance with my own solo efforts. Fewer projects? I’ve only got three main ones going, not terrible; eh, think I'll stick with less giveafuck and let the chips fall where they may.

Finding that practicing Stone's STICK CONTROL on the practice pad helps get me out of an invasive thoughtloop. Rhythm + counting + focus = a stick-bearing meditation: fascinating / horrifying that the voices of interruption that pop up are all things (Step-He) used to say to me when I practiced / disturbed his sacred existence and that I somehow managed to appropriate into my own internal voice. Explains a lot. Fucker.

Keep playing, keep counting, keep breathing, keep going. And on and on and on.

slowdown

in

Here endeth the daily things, a return to the whenever/whatevers: lots in my brain, lots to focus on, and the point of the daily iteration fading. LAST CHRISTMAS, did, after all, come from several posts in the whenever / whatevers here so the approach DOES work and does help (also, the week categorization system makes this space more amenable to the w/w approach).

Thinking of:

"Stay at home in your mind. Don't recite other people's opinions. See how it lies in you; and if there is no counsel, offer none. What we want is not your activity or interference with your mind, but your content to be a vehicle of the simple truth."

Not putting this here for you or for anyone, really, but for me: a record made, kept.