M3 morning one
First morning with the M3 Air being one of experimentation, of figuring our way around each other, of making do with improvised risers (have an actual laptop stand coming later today), and adapting previous processes to this new tool: it's been a most welcome change. 15" M3 screen so good I don't miss the 20"-loss from the 34" I was using with the Mini – though Obsidian canvi are a tad unwieldy on the smaller screen (but the focus of going back to single documents has been grand). Only thing I do miss, rather terribly, is the Elgato Stream Deck, but I'll eventually get that hooked back up. Maybe that could be today's job; remembering all those custom Obsidian hot keys has been… challenging. Kinesis Freestyle 2 Blue keyboard and Logitech Ergo M575 trackball integrated flawlessly (though it'll be nice to spread the Kinesis out a bit more with the dedicated laptop stand).
mactest
Bit of a test post, first post written on the M3 Macbook Air, 15" and jesusfuck this screen is beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, it's more than enough space than I need to work with (think my biggest laptop screen was 12", maybe), and I've taken out the external monitor and am giving going solely with the Air a go. Pre-NuShed trials. Decided that it'll be my studio / makerspace: I haven't gotten to to go anywhere for work in 15 years so I might as well shuffle across the backyard and give it a go. Oh, I do like this thing – though I’ve got to set up my invaluable Elgato Stream Deck again. Small price.
"so what do you do?"
For the first time in memory, I've been telling anyone who asks me what I do the truth: I don't know, that I'm still figuring it out – and, while I rarely provide context or qualification for my answer (after all the upheaval the last few years, I'm still learning to live without them, for better and for worse, and it's put the question of how much of my life – and theirs – did I waste on these creative pursuits), I'm always shocked by the universal reply: some variation of That's great or Good for you.
Wish I had more of a insight into what I think of that response, but I'm still figuring it out, processing the shock: Growing up, it was all "what's your plan, blah blah blah"; maybe there's a shift that happens when you reach middle age?
I was advised by my doctor to seek counseling for grief, but I've (so far) resisted it: I'm one of the weird ones who enjoyed therapy, found it a stimulating intellectual exercise and dialogue, but, unless they can give me concrete steps to find a purpose, there's no point. Perhaps now I can start to use the real answer to "How are you?": Fine when I'm doing something – moving gravel, writing weird shit that no one reads, building BabyShed – fucking awful when I have time to think.
(Unless I'm using that time to think as time to write (weird shit that no one reads): this process of processing really does help – but I wish I could expand it out throughout the day and enjoy it as much as I do in these early morning, pre-people hours but I know myself well enough to know that any attempt to do that will kill the joy of these early morning hours).
Suppose this could use a conclusion – but there isn't one. Ongoing process (of processing).
